Beauty From Pain
by cold.december.night
Summary: Jess loved to take showers to hide her pain and after a day like today she needed one, but will something or someone make her feel better instead?
1. Part One

Beauty from Pain

Disclaimer: Sadly after wishing multiple times, primeval and the characters are still not mine. L

Part One:

Jess Parker loved showers, not because they got her clean or made her smell good. Jess loved showers because that was the one place she felt safe enough to cry. The sound of the water drowned her sobs, the water itself washed away the tears, and the warmth soothed her puffy eyes.

Jess didn't like people to know that she cried, it completely went against everything in her being. Jess struggled with depression since she was younger, her mother had been clinically depressed and suffered from suicidal tendencies. It had gotten so bad that she had to be admitted into a facility. Jess didn't want that for herself so she hid it.

For the most part Jess was a happy person, she didn't think about hurting herself or others. But upon occasion when things got too heavy at work, when people died she took hour long showers.

What she didn't realize though was that Connor and Abby were on to her. When she would take her showers they would make it a point to stay in even if they had other plans. Abby, who had experiences in depression herself, knew how to handle these situations.

This time though Abby and Connor had been called back to the ARC. It was horrible day for them all, one of the animals had gotten loose and went on a rampage killing two people that Jess was particularly close to and injuring three more, including Emily.

Jess had witnessed the carnage and barely escaped with her life. Abby knew that Jess would be blaming herself and when she heard the shower turn on she hated to have to leave.

"Someone needs to be here" Abby said softly as Connor pulled his jacket on.

"I know Abs but Lester needs you at the ARC and I have some paperwork that needs to be done tonight" Abby shook her head she thought about calling someone but she knew Matt wouldn't leave Emily even for a few minutes.

"Do you think Becker would come over?" Abby asked thoughtfully, Connor gave her a skeptical look. They both knew that the captain had feelings for their field coordinator and that he wouldn't want to be alone with her.

"Not unless we tell him why" Connor grabbed his keys off of the table by the door. The thought of spilling Jess' secrets made them both uneasy. Especially since she didn't realize that they knew.

Abby was about to remark when they both heard a rather loud sob over the running water. Connor raised his eyebrows at his fiancé and frowned. Of all the times they had been there they had never actually heard her sobbing.

"I think that it will probably be for the best" Abby said sadly, she didn't like betraying Jess but she knew that if she didn't have someone here then Abby wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the night.

Abby had watched her aunt go through this and the woman ended up killing herself. She didn't want that for anyone especially Jess.

"Call him" She said crossing her arms across her chest, she had a sinking feeling about leaving her alone. Connor pulled out his mobile and quickly dialed Becker's number.

"What's wrong?" Becker said as he answered the phone, Connor quickly explained the situation to the listening soldier.

"You want me to come over and sit with Jess because she is depressed and not tell her why?" Becker asked in a confused voice.

"Yes" Connor replied earning a chuckle from Becker.

"I'll be over in a bit figure out what you are going to tell her" Becker said hanging up before Connor had a chance to reply.

What were they going to tell her? How were they going to tell her? He turned to Abby, who was looking at him expectantly.

"He is on his way over, what are we going to tell Jess?" Abby rolled her eyes and stomped off toward the bathroom, she had always been better at last moment thinking then Connor was. She swore the man's brain just shuts down if he had to think of an excuse or story on the spot.

"Jess?" Abby said through the bathroom wall, there was silence so Abby tried the knob. It was locked so she grabbed her nail file out of her pocket and slid it in the groove before turning it. Slowly Abby opened the door, she was met by a blast of steam.

"Jess.." Jess popped her head out of the curtain and looked at Abby as though she had grown another head.

"The door was locked!" Abby held up her nail file and Jess rolled her eyes. Of course Abby would be good at picking locks.

"Connor and I were called back to the ARC, we need you to entertain Becker for a little while until we get back." Abby said quickly.

"What? Why is Becker needing to be entertained?" Abby sighed and knew that Becker would kill her for this later.

"He took Andrews' death pretty hard, he didn't want to be alone tonight so we invited him over for a movie. Unfortunately we were called in, so can you please stay with him tonight?" Abby explained, it wasn't a complete lie, Andrews had been Becker's second and they had been really close friends so Becker taking his death hard wasn't that big of a stretch.

Jess looked at Abby for a moment oblivious of the conflict that was crossing her face. Jess didn't realize how easy she was to read, she thought she hid her feelings so well but really to those who knew it they were obvious.

"Fine, when will he be here?" Jess asked in defeat, she just wanted to spend the night in her pajamas vegging out in front of the television.

"Thank you Jess! He should be here soon" Abby said with a smile, it was obvious to Jess that Abby had been worried that Jess would say no. It was hard to tell Abby no, especially when she was trying to do something nice for someone else.

Abby backed out of the bathroom and shut the door behind her, they would have to call Becker and tell him to act sad.

"We're good to go" Abby said softly, she looked back toward the bathroom one last time. She still felt uneasy about leaving Jess but at least Becker would be there if she needed him.


	2. Part Two

Disclaimer: Still not mine!

Part Two:

Normally Jess would be looking forward to a night alone with Becker, but tonight just wasn't a good night. She had watched friends be mauled by a prehistoric animal while they were supposed to be safe in the confines of the ARC.

Jess shivered at the memory of poor Andrews' body being ripped apart. He had been killed trying to protect her, she felt a rush of guilt and she almost began to cry again.

After Abby had ruined her shower Jess had turned the water off and got out. She decided that rather Becker was going to be there or not she was still going to wear her pajamas. Jess wrapped a towel around herself and wiped off the foggy mirror.

Her eyes were blood shot but that would go away soon enough. Jess ran a brush through her hair to get the tangles out then put her hair in to braided pig tales.

Jess quickly dressed in her bright pink flannel pajama pants and a neon green tank top. She knew it didn't particularly match but at that moment she didn't really care.

She was in the middle of walking to the kitchen to start a pot of tea when she heard a knock on the door. Jess wasn't really looking forward to babysitting a sad soldier since she was pretty sad herself but it was Becker and any time she could spend with him alone was always nice.

Jess walked over to the door and slowly opened it, just to make sure it was him after all.

"Hey" He said softly, he wasn't dressed in his uniform but instead he was wearing a dark red shirt and a pair of jeans that fit him rather well. His hair wasn't brushed back like it normally was and it hung a bit in his eyes.

Jess' stomach jumped at the sight of the handsome man, she forced a bright smile and motioned him to come inside, she pointed to the sofa.

"I was just making a pot of tea, you can go sit down if you like." Jess explained before walking to the kitchen, she was aware of the fact that, instead of going to the sofa, Becker had followed her into the kitchen.

"Are you alright Jess?" Becker asked leaning against one of the counters. Jess raised her eyebrows and pours two cups of tea.

"I'm alright, still a bit shaken up about today. How are you?" Jess asked letting a sympathetic look cross her face.

"I'll live, unlike Andrews and Othello" He said softly, Jess watched as his normally stoic expression slid into to something else. He looked vulnerable for a moment.

"I'm sorry about Andrews, it was my fault he died" She said softly. Jess couldn't believe she had said it out loud, it was something she had spent the last two hours trying to convince herself that wasn't true.

"It wasn't your fault, he died in the line of duty. He did what he was trained to do" Becker explained reaching over to take her shaking hand.

"He died trying to protect me though. It was my fault" Becker shook his head and grabbed one of the tea cups. He knew he wouldn't be able to convince Jess that Andrew's death wasn't her fault. Not yet anyway.

Jess grabbed the other tea cup and walked past him to the sofa, she had decided she was going to watch a Disney movie. Normally after a long hard day it was the only thing that made her feel better.

"Beauty and the Beast?" Becker asked with a raised eyebrow, Jess smiled and grabbed the DVD case from the soldier.

"Yes! Belle was always my favorite, I think it was because I identified with her the most." Becker shook his head and sat down on the sofa, it had been at least eighteen years since he saw the movie. He had two little sisters and of all the princess movies they made him watch this was probably the best.

"You don't mind?" Becker shook his head and stretched his legs out. Jess smiled and put the movie in before bouncing over to the sofa. Jess sat down on the other end and looked at the television with bright eyes.

Becker couldn't help but stare at Jess for most of the movie, every so often she would scoot closer until she was leaning against his shoulder smiling at the movie.

Becker fought so hard at trying to hide his feelings from everyone, including himself. But today he almost lost her again, if it hadn't been for Andrews he would have.

"It was my fault Jess" He said softly but by the look on her face he knew she heard him. She looked at him with a confused look.

"What?" She asked, Becker rubbed his face with his free hand. Connor and Abby hadn't been too far off when they told Jess that he didn't want to be alone. In fact he was on his way out to the pub when they called.

"It was my fault that Andrews died" He said again this time he looked at her. Jess sat up and looked at him, it was obvious that she was upset.

"Why would you say that? You had nothing to do with his death! He died protecting me Becker, not you" Jess was angry, how dare he try to take the blame of Andrews' death.

"Yes, but he was protecting you because I ordered him to. I ordered him to not leave you no matter what" Jess felt like someone had dropped ice down her back.

"Why would you do that?" Becker leaned over, he put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Becker knew that if he admitted why he did it then things would never be the same. He could no longer deny that he had feelings for her.

"Becker? Why?" Becker sighed in frustration and looked at her.

"Because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. Almost losing you once was enough" Jess' mouth opened and shut repeatedly, she looked like a fish. Becker ran a hand through his hair and stood up. He was suddenly embarrassed at what he just said.

"I don't understand" she croaked out trying to digest what he had just told her. Was it possible that he had feelings for her?

"Really? You're the smartest person I know and you cant understand why I don't want to lose you" Becker said as he looked at the young woman in front of him. Becker shook his head and decided to just go for it. He reached over, snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her to him.

Jess squeaked in surprise and her eyes widened before sliding closed as Becker's lips crushed into her own. Jess' arms wrapped around his neck and she felt his hand bury into her hair.

Becker wasn't sure how long they stood there breathing each other in and enjoying each other's lips. Becker eventually pulled away much to Jess' dismay.

Becker looked down at Jess, her eyes were still clothes and her face was flushed. Slowly her eyes opened and Becker smiled down at her.

"Wow" She said slowly, trying to reign in her thoughts. Becker nodded and pulled her to sit down beside him again, he grabbed the remote beside him.

"What are you doing?" She asked looking up at him, her chin resting on his chest. Becker looked down at her and grinned before leaning over and kissing her softly again.

"Just putting on the telly" Jess nodded and was surprised when he stopped at an episode of Doctor Who. She looked up at him in shock.

"What? I like Doctor Who, don't you dare tell Connor though" How had she not known this about Becker? She looked back at the television and couldn't help but laugh.

Jess sighed happily though there was still a nagging sense of guilt that weighed heavily on her soul. No matter what Becker said, she still felt responsible for Andrews' death. Nothing he said would ever change that.

When Abby and Connor got home they walked into the living room, they knew Becker was still there because his truck was in the car park.

"Abby!" Connor whispered nudging his fiancé before pointing toward the sofa where Becker and Jess were sleeping, Becker stretched out holding Jess protectively against him.

Abby studied the two with complete surprise, she had to suppress a squeal that would have woken the couple up. Instead she decided to get Connor, who was taking a picture with his phone, to go with her to the bedroom without waking them up.

"I cant believe it" Abby said as they closed their bedroom door behind them. Connor shook his head and began to get ready for bed, he turned to his fiancé.

"I can, that man had no chance when it came to Jess" He said before jumping into the bed, Abby laughed and followed him.

It had been a horrific day that that was full of death, human and animal, but something good came out of it. Two of their friends finally admitted their love for one another.

Things were still bad, it would take time for everyone to heal. Though Jess may take less showers now that she had another thing to help her stay happy.


End file.
